It’s crazy ridiculous how great God’s love is right now. Or I mean always. It’s so inexplicably infinite and incomprehensible. There’s just such a longing in me to constantly be in God’s presence, just to spend time with Him. I’ve never felt this love before or experienced His grace in this way. I never understood why people were so obsessed with God. I mean, I grew up in church so I always had that knowledge, I knew and was told how God loved me, but I never had the understanding or the passion. I guess I knew it was there, and I guess I knew God loved me, whatever that meant. But I feel it every second of every day now. I am constantly thinking about Him, just wanting to spend time with Him in prayer or listening to music to worship Him. I can’t believe so many people have never met this love, have never felt this crazy good LOVE. It’s a high that nothing else can compare to. Seriously, it’s not even that I all of a sudden think drinking and smoking are terrible sins now, it’s just that they are so pointless and unsatisfying compared to this joy. Yeah I’ll still go out with my friends because it’s fun to be together but it’s just not going to be as permanently fulfilling and amazing as this drunk love for God. His love just fills me with joy and it’s so strange feeling this because I never really grasped this idea. I never thought I’d be one of those people that went crazy and all dedicated, but God works in crazy ways, and He just revealed Himself to me. It’s nothing like I ever imagined it. I never knew people could feel like this. He is SO real and alive and I can’t believe I had been missing out on this. And I also never understood prayer beyond my knowledge of it, beyond thinking of it as something everyone just DOES without feeling. I could never pray for more than a minute because it’d just get boring or dumb. But now all of a sudden I could pray for hours, just talking to Him and spending time with Him. His love pours down on me and while I feel guilt and sorrow, joy from His grace overpowers it all. I want everyone to feel this love, to feel this soaring high that God is waiting for all of us to accept. Oh how He loves us. He truly loves us. I am His forever and that’s all I ever need.
The best feeling is seeing all your high school friends back together, catching up, and reminiscing. Everything’s back to the good old high school days for a night, and it’s so comforting. (I’m pretty impressed with my typing, even though its taken me like 10 minutes. I LOVE REUNIONS.